


As Time Passes

by reijeux



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-12
Updated: 2014-06-13
Packaged: 2018-02-04 08:14:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1772020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reijeux/pseuds/reijeux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mikasa has managed to successfully graduate university and earn the career of her dreams. Also, she's had a son for five years and the father, who she broke up with due to his job transfer, has no idea. She might be a little mad at herself for that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so sorry I ALWAYS WRITE AU’S FOR THESE TWO. I really want to write a canon-verse fic one day, but today’s not that day. I also apologize if anything sounds odd and also the fact that this might sound more like a K-drama than actual real life (thus, tons of frustration).

“Need help with your shoes, baby?”

“Nuh uh.”

“You sure?”

“Uh huh.”

Mikasa kneeled, brushing some of the boy’s soft hair aside as he concentrated on tying his shoes, “Wow, so you’re a big boy already, huh?”

“Uh huh, I know how to tie my shoes real good.”

“Mm, very good. Ready?”

“Uh huh.” Mikasa straightened herself out, taking his small hand within her own. While she was fully confident that the boy would be fine on his first day of kindergarten, a large part of her really wasn’t ready to let him go just yet (or ever).

The last few years have been tough, especially as she continued pushing herself through university—almost barely unable to graduate on time, but she survived. She supposed she got off much easier than others, knowing people who would offer help when she needed it (despite her constant attempts to turn them all down).

As Mikasa walked with the boy to his school only a couple blocks away, she felt his hand constantly tighten and loosen around hers every other step they took. Gently caressing his hand with her thumb, she turned her gaze down to look at him. Before the boy came into her life, she never fully understood the happiness a child could bring. Since then, however, not a day has gone by where she didn’t feel grateful to have been blessed with such a beautiful boy…

As they reached the school, the boy held her hand even tighter, as if never wanting to let go. Mikasa walked him inside to help find his classroom; the boy looked around, moving closer to her for comfort.

The classroom was found with no problem, and after a quick introduction and chat with the teacher (Miss Ral was her name, and she seemed very trustworthy), Mikasa once again kneeled to talk with the boy.

“I can’t pick you up after school, so Uncle Eren will come get you instead, okay?”

“Okay.” The boy’s brows were furrowed in concentration, as he kept his eyes on her. She knew he was doing his best to be brave for her, and it hurt her heart. Mikasa tenderly placed her hands on his cheeks and gave him an eskimo kiss.

“Make plenty of friends and be good, hm? I love you, baby.”

“Lob you too, Mommy…”

And just like that, she (painfully) let him go into the classroom. Watching his little body wander among all the other small, just-as-terrified children forced her to look away, as much as she wanted to watch over him the entire day.

It wasn’t so hard leaving him at home with a babysitter; at least then, she knew he was going to be fine. But now… anything could happen…

Mikasa tried to calm herself, but she knew she was going to worry about her son all day.

 _Great_.

As she sat herself at her desk at work, she checked her phone for any calls from the school, before setting it right beside her computer monitor so she could keep an eye on it. _Just in case_.

“Good morning, Mikasa!” Christa walked by to reach her own desk and set her bag down. “Did you send Edmund off to school today?”

“Yeah…”

Noting no attempt to hide her worry, Christa smiled, “I’m sure he’ll be fine. He’s a smart boy.”

“Mm,” a slight smile graced Mikasa’s lips. “you’re right.” With a laugh, the blonde girl situated herself in her seat and turned on her computer.

Mikasa looked at her phone again before setting it aside.

Everything was going to be fine. Just fine.

-

In all actuality, Edmund’s birth was far from planned. Mikasa and the father had stopped seeing each other due to job relocation issues right before she found out she was pregnant.

She never _told_ the father she was pregnant. Eren told her repeatedly that it would have been a better idea to let him know, “rake in the child support, ‘cuz you really need it,” he said. She didn’t want to do that. Doing that would involve having to discuss it with him.

He would probably want to have some part in the boy’s life, not that it was a bad thing (he was that kind of man, so she wasn’t afraid of _rejection_ or a shirk of responsibility)—and as awful as she felt about denying him of that right, she was selfish. They broke up, stopped communicating, and Edmund was hers to keep.

She originally planned on telling the father after she gave birth, but she never realized how possessive she was until the boy was born. She hated that about herself.

-

When she got home later in the evening, she was met with Eren watching TV on the couch with Edmund napping against him, in his pajamas and clearly fresh from the bath.

“How was he?”

“The teacher said he was a good little tyke.” Eren changed the channel. “Though, he asked me something when I picked him up.”

“Oh?”

“He said the other kids kept talking about their moms and dads, and then he asked me if I was his dad.”

“…What did you tell him?”

“I said no. Then he asked if he had one.”

“…And?”

“I asked if he wanted ice cream,” Eren set the remote down and looked at her. “and _boy_ , did he want that ice cream.”

Mikasa sighed, setting down her bag. She knew she needed to tell him the truth one day; the only issue was that when she needed to tell him _why_ he didn’t know his father. The only honest thing she _could_ tell him was that she was just selfish… and that the father wasn’t even in the country.

“Listen, Mikasa. It’s almost been six years. There is _no_ way you can keep dragging this on.”

She looked at him challengingly.

“…Okay, right, I forget who I’m talking to, Miss _No-Carla-I-Promise-My-Hamster-Is-Still-Alive-It’s-Just-Sleeping_.” He ran a hand through his hair as the woman snorted. “Right, whatever. Anyway, now that you’re here, I have a date.” Eren gently moved the boy away from him so he could get up.

“..You know, if you ever get tired of helping--”

“Mikasa. Shut up. I offered, alright?” He slipped on his coat and pulled out his keys. “There’s no point in getting a babysitter when I’m available, in the same apartment, for _free_.”

“Eren--”

“Though, it probably would have been _so_ much easier if you just told his dad.”

“ _Eren_.”

“I mean, his hours might be kind of blegh ‘cuz he’s in Australia or Poland--”

“ _Germany_ , Eren. He’s in Germany.”

“--or wherever, right, but it wouldn’t hurt. Well, maybe not _you_ , but it would definitely hurt _him,_ I mean, the guy is _responsible_ , for God’s sake. He would probably nag you and be mad at you for a _long_ time, but who knows, maybe he’d come back--”

“ _Eren_. Enough.”

“Meh, but you know, it’s your life, so it’s your call.”

Mikasa pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed as the man pat her arm and walked for the door. Before Eren stepped out, he looked back at her.

“Mikasa. You have a good job. You feed the kid, clothe him, and take the best care of him just like any pair of parents could. You and his dad didn’t split on _bad_ terms at all. You won’t lose custody of Edmund, and I highly doubt he would try to take him away from you, so what would you really have to lose?”

She looked at him challengingly, and he held up a hand.

“Right. Sorry I said anything. I won’t bring it up anymore.”

“I know you mean well, Eren,” Mikasa turned her gaze toward the sleeping boy on the couch. “and who knows, maybe it would have been better if I told, but… things are fine the way they are now.”

_He probably found someone else by now—finding out you have a child with someone else while you’re with another person can be stressful, so what’s the point at this rate?_

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, Miss I-Make-the-Best-Decisions-and-They’re-in-the-Guinness-Book-of-World-Records.”

“ _Eren_.”

“Bye.”

After Eren shut the door behind him, Mikasa sat on the couch and rest her head back. Before she could even _contemplate_ contacting Edmund’s father for once, she felt a small hand pat her thigh.

“Mm?” She lifted her head to see her son in the midst of crawling onto her lap. Holding him close, she kissed his forehead.

“Sorry, baby. Did I wake you up?” The boy shook his head, looking up at her. “How was your first day of school? Did you like it?”

“I liked it… I made a friend… he shared his crayons with me. His name’s Arik.”

“Wow, good job.” Mikasa gently pinched his cheek. “I knew you could do it.”

Edmund nodded, “Mommy?”

“Yeah?”

“My friend doesn’t have a mommy, but he has two daddies…”

“Oh? Well, that’s perfectly normal.” She bounced him on his lap, hoping the conversation wouldn’t go where she thought it would. Edmund tilted his head curiously.

“Do I have a daddy, too? Or two mommies? Where do babies come from?”

Edmund never asked this many questions at once, and she had been hoping for a long time that they’d be about something else.

“Well…” Mikasa breathed in, holding him still. “…you… have a daddy.”

“Will I meet him?”

She didn’t want to make promises she probably couldn’t keep, “…I don’t know.”

“Why?”

 _Because Mommy is a huge idiot_. “You’ll understand when you’re older, okay?” How she hated the fact that she actually used that as a response at all.

“…Mommy?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“I wanna meet Daddy.” His eyes were closer to grey like his mother’s, not at all like his father’s blue eyes, but his gaze still reminded Mikasa of him. It was always a nice reminder, albeit a little embarrassing every time.

She bounced Edmund once more before hugging him tight, “Your daddy is a good man. I hope you do meet him one day.” _But I am a huge idiot._

-

The next couple weeks passed just like any others, and Mikasa grew used to the thought of Edmund being at school. Much to her relief, Edmund became best friends just like that with the boy who shared his crayons, and according to Miss Ral, he did his best to participate in class. He “has leader-like qualities and is well-liked among the children, and he often speaks proudly of his mommy.”

Mikasa believed it would continue on peacefully this way for a long, long time—however…

She received a phone call on a Saturday evening from a local number she didn’t recognize. She answered before realizing that doing so was a bad decision.

“So you didn’t change your number. And here I thought that you would have by now.”

The sound of his voice made her heart stop; just the teasing tone of his voice made her feel as though nothing about him changed at all, despite the fact that half-a-decade had already passed.

“I never really felt the need to,” Mikasa simply responded as if the five years of no contact between them never happened, trying to stop her trembling. “I’m not hiding from anyone.”

His low chuckle resulted in a series of shivers racing up and down her spine; he still had that effect on her, apparently.

“Surprising. You never kept in contact, so I thought you were hiding from me.”

“You could have called me at any time you wanted, but you never did either.”

“Touché.” Another chuckle. “Well, I called now.”

“So you have.”

The silence that followed was almost deafening, and Mikasa nearly said ‘bye’ before the man broke the silence.

“I’m back in town. I borrowed a friend’s phone to call, but I should have my own tomorrow.”

He was just… speaking as if they never broke up…

And the realization that this man was the father of her child never truly dawned on her until that moment…

“Erwin…”

“Hm?”

“This is…” she breathed in. “we’re not… I mean… it’s nice that you called, but…”

As if getting the hint, the man spoke up, “Aren’t we old friends?”

“…I… I suppose…”

“Do you not want me to call you anymore?”

“That’s not it…”

She could _feel_ him smiling at the other end, “Then, can’t I catch up with you? As an old friend?” His convincing way with words always infuriated her. Mikasa knew she should have declined; she knew that agreeing would only lead to disaster.

 “…Alright.”

“Are you available now?”

Mikasa paused for a moment; of course she was available, but should she really meet up with him? Would it be a good idea at all?

Hearing Eren’s laughter in the kitchen, followed by a small squeal from Edmund, sealed the deal. Eren was free to watch her son for a little while—and it _did_ feel like ages since Mikasa went out at all just to _breathe_ and have at least a little time to do something that wasn’t work-related or play with Edmund…

…Maybe she would even change her mind once she saw the man and tell him about Edmund (doubtful).

“Where do you want to meet?” Mikasa finally said, not responding to the man’s previous question.

“The café?”

Of _course_ he’d pick that place out of every other place in town.

“Alright. I’ll see you there.”

“Great. It’ll be on me.”

“What? No, Erwin-” the man hung up before she could finish her sentence. With a sigh, she put her phone away and went into the kitchen. Eren and Edmund were in the process of placing cookie dough on a cookie sheet.

“You think you could keep an eye on Edmund for a half hour or so?” Mikasa picked her jacket up from a chair.

“No problem. Why?”

“Just need to meet with someone real quick. I’ll try not to take too long.”

“Alright.” Eren fixed one of the boy’s cookies. “Work related, or…?” He looked at her. “…Whoa, okay, you look _pale_.”

“Do I.” Mikasa gave Edmund a kiss on the cheek. “Be good, okay?”

“Mm hm.” The boy said, before pointing to two of the cookies on the cookie sheet. “Mommy, this is your cookie, and this one’s Daddy’s.”

This earned a slight snort from Eren; Mikasa only ruffled his hair, “Wow, they look delicious. Good job.” She smiled. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Mm hm.”

She left the kitchen and pulled out her keys, catching Eren’s concerned eye on the way out.

-

Choosing the café as a meet-up place was no surprise, but meeting up somewhere else was more preferred over that place. They met there when Mikasa was still in university, cramming for one of her tests. The man had sat at her table for a moment, politely asking if he could sit there as he waited for a friend, as there was no other available seat at the time; what she was studying eventually caught his eye.

“Foreign policies, hm?”

Luckily, he spoke up as she started her five minute brain break.

“Yeah.”

“I happen to be a Foreign Service Worker.” He said, pulling out a card. “If you have any questions or need to interview someone down the line-” he set the card on the table, tapping at the phone number printed on it. “-give me a call.”

She skimmed over his name. _Erwin Smith_? _Sounds_ _like an old person’s name._

Mikasa looked back up, only to see that the man’s friend had finally arrived.

He stood, “It was a pleasure to meet you, ah…”

She didn’t have to give him her name, “Mikasa.” But she did anyway.

“…Mikasa.” She could have sworn his eyes twinkled. “Hope I have another nice chat with you soon.” With that, he was gone.

Mikasa kept the card, but never called.

They met again at the same café not too long after, under the exact same circumstances.

“How’s school coming along?”

“It’s coming.”

“When are you graduating?”

“In about two years.”

“Wow…” Erwin smiled. “So you’re getting there.”

“Yeah.”

Their meetings by “chance” continued (she highly doubted they were by chance, and that Erwin only came in just to see her at this point), and their small chats went on, and as creepy as she thought Erwin to be in the early days, he eventually grew on her.

Then the dates happened (though most of these dates involved him helping her study, which helped _so_ much).

Then they became _official_.

Then the _news_ happened.

They had only been dating for about a half a year when Erwin told her that his job was transferring him to Germany.

She wasn’t surprised.

“Oh.”

“…Is that all you have to say?”

“What _do_ you want me to say, Erwin?”

“I don’t know, but I was hoping that you’d be a lot less passive about this.”

They’ve argued many times in the past, but over silly things, and they laughed about it in the end. This time, however…

“I was expecting this, Erwin. We _both_ were.”

His gaze met hers, and as badly as she wanted to look away, she couldn’t let him get the upper hand on her.

Erwin didn’t give her the response she thought he would.

“…What should we do then?”

“…How long will you be gone?”

“I don’t know.”

“…So, you’re _moving_ there.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“No, but that’s what this means, Erwin. You’re moving there for who knows how long.”

The man didn’t seem as though he was going to respond, so Mikasa continued.

“…You know this’ll be difficult for the both of us, right?”

“…Yeah.” Mikasa didn’t notice he had been moving closer until his hands were on her arms, running down to loosely hold her wrists. “We can still talk, you know…”

“Sure, but…” the words just started falling from her mouth. “… _relationship-_ wise…? We’d just go crazy. I can’t do this, Erwin. I really can’t.”

“Mikasa.” His hands trailed from her wrists to her hips. “Do you trust me?”

“I’m breaking up with you, Erwin.” The words kept falling out, but that didn’t stop him.

“I know. But do you trust me?”

Mikasa hesitated, “…What are you trying to say…”

“ _Do you_?”

“I—yes! I trust you, now what-” she was cut off with a kiss, not long before feeling his hand on her cheek as he meshed his tongue with hers. She couldn’t find it in herself to push him away; instead, she trailed her hands up his chest and over his shoulders. Feeling Erwin smirk against her mouth, she lightly bit his tongue, earning a laugh from the man.

“If you think this is going to null our breakup, you’re wrong.”

“I understand completely.” Erwin bumped their noses. “But I’m sure the both of us would like one more night together to dull the pain.”

Mikasa highly doubted that would actually work, but the truth was, they both needed this _badly_ , and if “dulling the pain” was a good enough excuse to be allowed one last fervent night of adulterated bliss, so be it.

But of course…

He left the following day, and almost a month later did Mikasa find out she was pregnant with Edmund and was _not_ ill with food poisoning, as she had originally self-diagnosed with the help of Google after violently throwing up one of her favorite meals (cooked by Eren).

She did debate on telling Erwin. She had his number for Germany and his email, but after staring at her phone for five minutes with her thumb hovering over the Call button, she tossed it aside and continued with her day.

School didn’t get tougher until after Edmund was born—she was on her final year at that point, but she almost dropped out. Carla, Eren’s mom and her guardian through her last half of high school, had none of it, and pushed her to finish university; Mikasa was grateful for what Carla did. She owed so much to the people who helped her out.

Mikasa didn’t realize she was completely zoned out until she reached the café, concerned that she was on complete autopilot as she was driving.

She remained in her car for a moment after she had parked, knowing Erwin was inside the café. Despite being on okay terms with him, she was still nervous. Maybe she should just go back home and tell him an emergency had come up.

Covering her face, she groaned. Mikasa couldn’t remember the last time she had been _this_ afraid to meet with someone, if ever.

Of course, _this_ specific someone doesn’t know he’s the father of her child. Or that she had a child at all. She probably wouldn’t have been half as nervous if there was no child in the picture.

‘No, Mikasa,’ She sat up. ‘You have to do this. All you’re doing is catching up. The last five years. God. _Dammit_.’

After a decent pep talk, Mikasa found herself inside the café, staring at the back of Erwin’s blonde (stupid) head. He was sat by one of the large set of windows, facing away from the entrance door; it looked like he had already ordered himself a drink, as well as a cinnamon roll that had yet to be touched.

Breathing in, Mikasa coolly strolled over, lightly touching his shoulder as she moved by to sit across from him.

“Hey.” She said, sliding off her jacket.

“Hey.” Erwin responded without missing a beat, sipping his coffee. “I _just_ ordered your drink. The usual, right?”

“…Yeah.” How could he remember what she liked to get at all?

“You look great, by the way. Cinnamon roll?” He slid the pastry towards her. She almost laughed.

“Thanks, but I’ll probably save it for later.” _As a nice snack for Edmund_. _He loves cinnamon rolls more than ice cream_.

Erwin smiled that _dumb, stupid_ smile as he drank more of his _dumb, stupid_ coffee.

“Where do we even start?”

“ _Where_ is right.” Mikasa’s eyes trailed to the server walking over with her coffee, and promptly said her thanks as she took it. “How were things in Germany?”

“It was an experience.” Erwin tapped the table a couple times with a finger in thought. “I enjoyed it, even if I was working most of the time.”

“No doubt.”

“I came back a few times to renew my visa. Thought of meeting up with you, but…” he chuckled. He seemed as if he wanted to speak more about his times coming back, but couldn’t bring himself to.

“And what about now?”

“Now? I’m in the process of unpacking.”

Mikasa raised an eyebrow, “Here? You’re moving back?”

“Transferred back, yeah.” His eye _twinkled_ that _stupid_ twinkle he always managed to make it do. “A little birdie at the embassy told me you grabbed a job there and successfully made it your own. Congrats.”

“Thanks…”

“So what else has been going on with you? Besides, you know, getting your dream job?”

“…A lot.”

“Such as?”

Mikasa sipped her drink, giving him a shrug, “Stuff.”

“Wow. How exciting.”

“I can hear the enthusiasm in your voice.”

“You can’t even talk about one thi--”

Mikasa’s phone went off in her pocket, “Sorry, can you hang on for a moment?” She answered, “Hello?”

Eren’s voice sounded on the other end as Edmund’s crying could be heard loud and clear in the background. Mikasa furrowed her eyebrows, glancing at Erwin, partially worried he could hear.

“Mikasa, he’s just thrown up, and he can’t stop crying, and he’s _warm_ , and the thermometer isn’t in its usual place, I can’t find it, and just— _help_.” Eren was actually panicking. Eren never panicked about things like this. That was _disconcerting_.

“Dammit. I’m on my way.” She hung up and stood, sliding her coat back on. “Sorry, I need to go. It’s urgent. Um, I’ll call you later. Or… you call me, when you get your phone.”

“Al…right…” Erwin responded with a nod.

It wasn’t until Mikasa reached home that she realized she forgot to bring the cinnamon roll with her. Of course, with Edmund being sick, she didn’t want him eating it anyway.

-

Edmund was tucked into bed nearly an hour later with a mild fever. Relieved that it wasn’t more serious, Mikasa got the mess in the kitchen cleaned with Eren’s help before dropping onto the couch.

“Sorry.” Eren walked into the room, drying his hands with a towel. “I thought I had everything under control for a sec.”

“It’s alright…” If anything, she was grateful to have been called back home. Mikasa wasn’t exactly in the mood to do any catching up.

“Where’d you go, anyway? You didn’t tell me if it was work-related or not.”

“Erwin’s back.”

“Oh? How’s he doing--” Eren dropped the towel. “He’s _back_?”

“That’s what I said, yeah.”

“What are you going to do? I mean, _Edmund_ \--”

“I’m still trying to figure that out, okay?” Mikasa muttered, placing some fingers over her temple.

“You can’t keep the kid away from his dad forever-”

“I _know_ , Eren. I just—I’m still trying to figure out how to… you know…” A person can’t simply just tell another person that they’re the father of a child who’s about to turn six.

“If you need any help,” Eren gestured to himself, “I can tell him, no problem.”

“ _No_.”

-

On the following day, Sunday, Mikasa received a text message from a local number that was different from the one from the previous evening. She finished getting her fully-recovered son dressed after his bath before sitting him on the couch and checking her phone.

_[This is Erwin. Got my phone now. Up for lunch?]_

Mikasa needed to tell him. If she didn’t tell him now, he would eventually found out _later_ at a _bad time_.

She glanced over at Edmund, whose attention was on the picture book (that his crayon friend let him borrow) on his lap.

Mikasa called Erwin.

“You don’t change your phone number, and now you’re _calling_ me rather than text back? My, you’re so full of surprises.”

 _God,_ this meal was going to be _so_ awkward.

“I’m up for lunch,” Mikasa said. “but there’s someone I want you to meet. I… can’t leave him alone right now, anyway.”

There was a slight pause before Erwin responded, “I… alright.” She wondered if he thought she was talking about a boyfriend.

“Don’t worry about paying for us. I have everything covered.”

“O-okay.” He definitely thought she was talking about a boyfriend. She probably even figured that he thought he had interrupted a date. He worried about things like that.

They hung up after Erwin gave her lunch details, and Mikasa looked at Edmund.

Sitting beside him, she kissed his hair as he kept his eyes on the book, “We’re going out for lunch, baby. You wanna use that new bookmark you made to mark your spot?”

“Mmkay.” The boy reached for his bookmark and placed it in the book.

“Why don’t you wear that new outfit we got you not too long ago? The one that goes nice with your favorite bowtie.” Edmund’s eyes lit up at the sound of the bowtie, and he slid off the couch.

“Yeah!”

Mikasa smiled, “Need help getting dressed?”

“Nuh uh, I’m a big boy.” The child disappeared into his room, leaving Mikasa to conclude that she, too, should get dressed properly.

This was going to be a long day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /covers face
> 
> Sometimes I try too hard to make things as realistic as possible, but then they just. Don't quite turn out that way.

Mikasa entered the restaurant, holding her small son’s hand. She was hoping that Erwin would have already found the table, but he was sat in the waiting area by the doors.

As soon as he saw her, he stood, momentarily confused that he didn’t see anyone else beside her before his eyes trailed down to Edmund. The boy shyly moved closer to his mother, hiding the best he could behind her leg and peeking up at the tall man.

“Erwin,” Mikasa tried to calm her racing heart. “this is Edmund.” The name itself made Erwin’s eyes go wide as he looked at her; he had said once before that he liked the name, as it was his grandfather’s, and that he definitely wanted to give the name to a future son. (However, the whole subject of having children together one day was never actually brought up—the whole reason why he had been talking about it in the first place was because he wanted to show Mikasa his grandfather’s pocket watch. The thing about naming his future son just slipped out and was never addressed ever again.)

When Edmund was born, she couldn’t _not_ give him that name.

So when Mikasa introduced the boy to Erwin, she knew he pieced everything together right before she said, “He’s your son.”

As Erwin seemed too shocked at the moment to properly respond, Mikasa kneeled, gently moving Edmund so she could rub his back.

“Edmund…” her voice wavered. “…this is your daddy.” She looked up at Erwin—his momentary blank expression was proof at how unhappy he was with her, but as Edmund was there, he put on a smile and got down on one knee.

“A pleasure to meet you, Edmund.” He held a hand out to the child for a shake.

“Mn…” Mikasa kept her gaze on the bashful boy as he hesitantly reached out and placed his small hand on his father’s. Seeing Erwin gently shake his hand made Mikasa’s heart squeeze—and all of the momentary awful feelings she had over the years for keeping this a secret from Erwin suddenly washed over her like a wave. She messed up badly.

“How old are you, Edmund?”

The boy held up his hand, “I’m fibe…”

“Five? Wow… I was five at one time, too. Do you like it?”

“Mn, it’s fun…” Edmund looked down, hiding his smile as he kicked a little at the carpet. “And then, I’m gonna be sis, and then seben…”

“Yeah?” Erwin lightly poked his tummy. “Well, why don’t we go sit down, and we can celebrate you turning five, six, and seven with yummy food?”

Giggling, the child kept his gaze down as he nodded, “Mmkay…” Erwin chuckled as he tapped Edmund’s nose with a finger; his fond smile faded as soon as he looked at Mikasa.

She definitely saw this coming.

“We’ll talk about this later.” He said simply before standing, and she nodded, getting up as well.

As soon as they were sat at a booth and ordered, Edmund fidgeted a little in his spot beside Mikasa. Making soft, almost frustrated noises while trying to get through a maze on the coloring page he was given by the waitress, Edmund looked at his mother to whisper at her.

“Mommy, I want help.”

“Oh?” Mikasa reached for one of his crayons before the boy stopped her with more whispering.

“I want Daddy’s help.”

“Ah--” Unable to _not_ feel hurt by the words of a _five-year-old_ , Mikasa kissed his forehead. “He’s right there. You can ask him yourself.”

“ _No_ , I want _you_ to ask…”

“Is there a problem?” The amusement that laced Erwin’s voice earned a good squinting from the woman.

“Edmund has a question for you.”

“ _Mommy_.”

“Aren’t you a big boy? Big boys can ask their own questions.”

“Mnng…” Edmund looked at his map. “I want Daddy’s help.”

“That’s a question? That didn’t quite sound like one.” Erwin was obviously enjoying this more than he should have been allowed.

Edmund’s voice dropped, “Can… Daddy help me…?”

“Hm… I’m not sure.” Erwin rested his chin on his hand. “Maybe Daddy could help you if you used a magic word in there somewhere.”

The boy was starting to turn red, “…Please…?”

“Please what?”

“Oh my God, Erwin.” Mikasa covered her face with a hand in a successful attempt to stop herself from laughing.

“What?” Erwin looked at her.

“Just… just help him already!” This entire situation was not funny at all, so _why_ did she feel the opposite? She felt Erwin’s foot nudge at hers while he turned his attention to the boy, and she couldn’t help but nudge back.

“Okay, kiddo, I’ll help you.”

“M-mn…” Edmund pushed his map as far as he could over to the man. Mikasa watched for a moment before speaking up.

“Why don’t you go sit by your daddy, hm? It’ll be easier for you to work on your map together.”

“’kay…” The boy was back to being as shy as he was earlier, but she knew he would get passed that once he spoke to Erwin more.

As Mikasa watched them work on the map, she did feel herself grow a little jealous of the scene. But of course, she herself had Edmund all to herself for five years.

However, seeing a smile gradually spread across her son’s face while Erwin helped him actually made her forget her jealousy and concerns.

Her eyes drifted over to Erwin.

She spent so long thinking of Edmund and his needs that she completely forgot that she actually was truly in love with a man at one point.

When his gaze met hers, she realized that that feeling still lingered.

-

Erwin took care of the whole dinner bill, ignoring Mikasa’s attempts to stop him. He then treated them to ice cream at the shop down the street—while Mikasa didn’t want any, she agreed so that Edmund could have his dessert.

Sitting in the shop, Edmund was halfway through his ice cream before promptly falling asleep on Mikasa, forcing her to finish off the rest of it so it wouldn’t melt and get everywhere.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Erwin finally asked as she was close to finishing off the ice cream.

“I was going to.”

“But you didn’t, and it’s been five years.”

“I _know_.”

“ _Why_?” Erwin was clearly trying not to raise his voice. “Were you just _mad_ at me for leaving?”

“ _No_.” Mikasa breathed out, hoping their talking wouldn’t wake Edmund. “It’s complicated, alright?”

“I’ve got all day.”

“I just—we _broke up_ , Erwin.”

“So?”

“We broke up, and you had your job, and… and…” She thought she would be ready to talk about this when the time came. Mikasa spent so much time reciting her excuses in her head, but now they were all gone. “I know I should have told you when I found out, Erwin. I _know_ I definitely should have told you when he was born, but…” Her excuses were awful ones.

She was selfish. _Foolish_.

So the only sentence she could muster out from her constant recitations was, “I’m sorry.”

Erwin was quiet, and she hated it. She finished off the ice cream, feeling his eyes drill holes into her, _look_ through her.

“…I would have been more than happy to be a father to him, Mikasa, even if I was in Germany.”

“I know.”

“I would have been _more_ than happy to try and make _our_ relationship work, Mikasa.”

She stayed silent.

“I tried to forget you, you know.” Erwin said. “I went on countless dates with people back in Germany.”

“Erwin, stop it.”

“I tried, and _tried_ , and…” the man furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head. “For a moment, I thought I did. I thought I moved on from you. Then I come back.”

“ _Stop_.” She knew she had no right to tell him to stop talking, though. He deserved this much.

“I come back, and I find out you had a _child_.” He sat up in his seat, clearly upset. “You’ve had this child for just about the entire time I was gone. _Why_? Why couldn’t you have told me about him, _why_ did you let me waste _so much damn time_ trying to forget about you, _why_ , Mikasa? _Why_ didn’t you let me into _our_ son’s life in the first place? _Why_?” His voice cracked. “ _Five_ years, Mikasa. _Five years_ wasted.”

Mikasa opened her mouth to respond, but found no words. She didn’t even realize the tear that slid down her cheek until she felt her eyes start to burn.

“Don’t… don’t tell me you’re never going to let me see him again after this.” Erwin continued, voice gradually softening. “There’s a reason why I started contacting you again in the first place… and it’s not just because we’re old friends.” Their gazes locked. “I’m so… _angry_ with you, Mikasa. I’m angry and I shouldn’t even want to become a part of your life again… yet I _still_ do. And with Edmund being a part of this whole ordeal… I want to be a part of his life, too. I want to make up for lost time.”

Mikasa couldn’t bring herself to just agree to Erwin’s wish of getting together again; they were apart for so long that it didn’t feel right.

“You can be a part of his life as much as you want, Erwin.” She heard herself say. “But we… I’m not saying _we_ have no chance again, but…”

“Start over?” The way he said it made it sound so simple.

“…Start over,” she said. “and work up from there.”

Erwin rested back in his chair, lightly tapping the table in thought, “Start over… work up from there… I’m willing as long as you are.” He breathed out. “I didn’t mean to sound pushy when I…”

“It’s alright,” Mikasa said. “…I do… want to do this.”

A slight smile graced his lips, “Yeah? Did you have trouble forgetting about me, too?” He was in a teasing mood.

“Of course not. I had your son to take care of. I completely forgot you existed.”

“Oh, _ouch_.”

Mikasa knew he was still upset with her, but he was definitely making an effort to be easy on her—she knew didn’t deserve to be let off just like that, no matter how much she appreciated it.

“I’m still sorry about… well… everything.”

“I know.”


	3. Epilogue

She woke up feeling hair brush against her back, followed by butterfly kisses over her spine. Mikasa instinctively arched her back before swinging back her arm, successfully swatting at the man.

“You ass.”

“Yours is much nicer.”

“Oh my God.” She kicked back at him before rolling onto her back to look at him. “You know what?”

“What is it, smoochey-face?”

“ _Oh my God_ , shut up.” She pushed Erwin’s face away, unable to stop the laugh that suddenly escaped her. Chuckling, Erwin pushed himself up to look at her. She raised an eyebrow and said mockingly, “ _What is it, smoochey-face_?”

“Hey, you can’t use that.” He kissed her lips. “Only I can use that.” He kissed her again. “You’re not allowed to be gross.” Another kiss. “That’s my job.”

“You’re not the boss of me. I do what I want.” She pulled him down to kiss him again, “And since you woke me up, I believe I am beyond allowed to do as I please.”

“I suppose you’re right.” He lightly brushed their lips, “But stealing my cheesy names shouldn’t be on the list of things you’re allowed to do.”

“ _Smoochey-face_.”

“You didn’t.”

Mikasa kissed him before pushing him onto his back, “ _Snuggle-butt_.”

Erwin gasped, “Now you stop that right now.”

“What was that other one you used that one time?” She straddled him, running her hands over his bare chest as she leaned forward to nip at his jaw. “ _Squishy-missy_?”

“Now _hold on up_ , that was _one time--_ ”

“No, this is fun.”

Erwin gripped her hips, “ _Mikasa_.”

She wriggled her bottom teasingly, “Yeah, _Hubby-wubby_?”

“You’re really gonna get it--”

“Mom! Or Dad! Whoever can respond.” Their son’s voice called from the other side of the door, not caring whether or not they had been sleeping at all (he never did care all that much).

Mikasa groaned slightly, letting herself fall forward to bury her face beside Erwin’s neck, clearly turned-off.

Erwin rubbed her back, “What is it, kiddo?”

“Can Arik come over?”

“Uh, well… Do… you think you could go to Arik’s house instead?”

There was a slight pause before Edmund let out a disgusted noise as he easily pieced together his parents’ current situation, “ _Gross_!! I’m _leaving_ this house, and I’m _never_ coming back!!”

“Okay, kiddo, be sure to be back before five, because we’re going out to eat!”

Mikasa snorted as the teen called, most likely down the hall at this point, “Okay!”

As soon as they heard the front door shut, Erwin ran his hands down Mikasa’s sides, “Now then… You wanna…?”

“No.” He moved his hands to her back to give it a gentle pat.

“Yeah, me neither.”

Mikasa let out a soft chuckle and pushed herself up, giving him one more kiss.

“I might just change my mind if you fixed me something to eat.”

“Hm… nah. Maybe later.”

She could only snort and push at him before climbing off him to get dressed. This was met with a soft laugh from the man, resulting in her laughing as well.

This was how life was now.

There were some points in time where she really did wish she told him about Edmund sooner—the one time she brought up these thoughts, Erwin told her that it was alright. That she shouldn’t regret it. That he turned out just find in the end and they were together now.

That was what mattered and she supposed he was right.

Things were just fine.

And they were happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally meant for this entire story to go one way, but then it just started writing itself? THEN I FELT BAD for not having enough moments between them, SO. HOPE THIS WAS good enough. Haha  
> Thank you guys for sticking with this. uwu


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